For most of my 20s, I seemed to have the ideal life - a loving partner, a life that looked perfect from the outside, and a future that felt safe and secure. We shared dreams and built a home and a life together.
When things got tough, we kept going. So when we started feeling disconnected, instead of questioning the foundation of our relationship, we made a bold move - we left everything behind and started a new life in Australia, hoping that a fresh start would bring us back to each other.
There were new experiences and moments where it felt like we were reclaiming what we had lost. But the deeper truth was harder to ignore: we were growing into different people. What we wanted in our 20s wasn’t the same as what we wanted in our 30s. By the time we were 34, we had to face the painful reality - our visions for the future no longer aligned.
The Darkness Before the End
Before the breakup, I fell into a depression. I didn’t recognise myself most days. I was constantly exhausted, unmotivated, and emotionally drained. The things that used to bring me joy felt meaningless, and every day felt like I was just going through the motions. At first, I thought I was just stressed, overwhelmed by life in a new country, or maybe just in a rough patch. But deep down, I knew it was more than that. I was slipping further into depression, and I felt completely alone in it. I felt trapped in a life that no longer felt like mine. The person sleeping next to me - the person who was supposed to be my husband; felt like a stranger. And when I tried to talk about how I was feeling, I was met with indifference, frustration, or silence.
The Cold Shoulder That Broke Me
One of the hardest moments of that time wasn’t just feeling emotionally disconnected—it was the way he could shut me out completely without explanation. For over a week, he gave me the cold shoulder. No conversation, no affection, no acknowledgment of my presence. I had no idea what I had done wrong, no idea why he was suddenly treating me like I didn’t exist. I replayed our last interactions over and over in my head, trying to figure out what had triggered this. And then, after days of silence, when he finally decided to speak to me again, the reason he gave shattered me. It wasn’t about something that had happened recently. It wasn’t even about something I had done that week. It was over something I had said months ago.
I couldn’t believe it. I had spent days torturing myself, wondering what I had done wrong, questioning my own worth - only to find out that he had been holding onto resentment for something so far in the past that I could barely remember it. And instead of addressing it when it happened, he had let it fester, choosing to punish me in silence rather than communicate. That moment was a wake-up call. It wasn’t just about that one fight; it was about the unhealthy dynamic we had created. Relationships are built on communication, on understanding, on choosing to work through things together - not on silent treatment and withheld affection. That week of coldness was one of the loneliest I had ever felt in my life.
The Lies That Changed Everything
Looking back, there were cracks in our relationship long before we admitted them out loud. But one of the biggest turning points for me came just after we moved to Australia. I started noticing little things that didn’t add up - vague answers whenever I asked about our finances.
At first, I told myself I was overreacting. I wanted to believe him when he said everything was fine. But my gut wouldn’t let it go. And eventually, the truth surfaced—he had been keeping things from me, making financial decisions behind my back, and lying about money. It wasn’t even about the finances themselves. It was about the betrayal. The secrecy. The realisation that the person I had trusted with my future was willing to deceive me.
I remember the moment I confronted him. I expected remorse, an apology, some kind of acknowledgment of what he had done. But instead, he got defensive, turned it back on me, and made me feel like I was the one in the wrong for questioning him. That moment changed something in me. It was the first time I truly felt alone in our marriage. It was also the moment I realised that no matter how much I wanted to hold on, we were no longer on the same team.
The Moment It Became Real
The day I told him I was leaving felt like an out-of-body experience. I had wrestled with the decision for months, playing out every possible scenario in my head. Would he fight for us? Would he finally say the words I had been desperate to hear—that he didn’t want to lose me?
But when I finally said it—"I think I'm going to go back to the UK, things just aren't working out here" - his response shattered me in a way I wasn’t prepared for:
"Fine."
That was it. No questions. No pleading. No emotion.
I stared at him, waiting for something more, but he just carried on as if I had told him I was going to the shop, not that I was leaving our life, our marriage, our years together. It was in that moment that I realised the person I had once shared everything with was already gone. We had lost each other long before that conversation. As painful as it was, his reaction gave me the closure I didn’t even know I needed. It confirmed that I had made the right choice. Because if someone can let you walk away without a second thought, they were never meant to hold you back.
The Final Blow
The day I booked my flight back to the UK, I felt a mix of relief and sadness. It was real now - no more second-guessing, no more wondering if we could fix what was broken. I was finally choosing myself. Then, just as I was processing all of that, he asked for my wedding ring and engagement ring back. I don’t know why it hit me so hard. Maybe because, deep down, I thought those rings symbolised something real, something that had mattered. But in that moment, it felt like a business transaction, like he was taking back a debt. It was the final sign I needed to walk away.
How I Healed from Heartbreak
Healing from heartbreak wasn’t instant, and it wasn’t easy. There were days when I felt like I was making progress, only to wake up the next morning drowning in sadness again. But little by little, I found my way back to myself.
Here’s what truly helped me heal:
1. I Allowed Myself to Feel Everything
At first, I tried to be strong, to push through, to act like I was fine. But the truth is, healing only began when I let myself feel it all—the grief, the anger, the loneliness. I cried. I journaled. I let the emotions come in waves instead of suppressing them. And slowly, they started to lose their power over me.
2. I Stopped Romanticising the Past
It was easy to remember the good times and wonder if I had made a mistake. But I had to remind myself of the full truth—the loneliness I felt in the relationship, the moments I wasn’t valued, the ways I had lost myself. I rewrote the narrative in my mind, not with bitterness, but with honesty.
3. I Focused on Rebuilding My Own Life
I poured my energy into things that made me feel alive again. I travelled, I connected with friends, I took up hobbies that I had abandoned during my relationship. I built a life that felt good on my own - not one that was waiting for someone to fill the empty space.
4. I Practiced Radical Self-Love
Instead of searching for validation from someone else, I became my own source of love. I treated myself the way I had always wanted to be treated - with kindness, patience, and care. I nourished my body with yoga, spoke to myself with compassion, and set new boundaries to protect my peace.
5. I Found Purpose in My Pain
One of the most powerful shifts in my healing was realising that my heartbreak had a purpose. It was teaching me, strengthening me, and preparing me for something greater. And that’s why I created Heartbreak to Healing; so no one else has to navigate this journey alone.
Healing wasn’t about finding someone new or “moving on” in the way society expects. It was about coming back to myself, reclaiming my happiness, and realising that I was whole all along. And you can do the same.
If you’re ready to step into your healing, let’s do this together.
You Can Heal, Too
If you’re navigating heartbreak right now, know this: Your pain is not your final destination. It may feel like the sadness will last forever, like the weight of grief will never lift, but I promise you; it will.
Healing is not about forgetting what happened or pretending it didn’t hurt. It’s about learning to hold space for your past while creating a future that feels aligned with who you truly are. It’s about reclaiming your power, your confidence, and your joy - not because you never experienced heartbreak, but because you chose to rise from it.
That’s why I created Heartbreak to Healing; a 21-day journey designed to help you:
💛 Process and release the emotions that are keeping you stuck.
💛 Let go of everything that no longer serves you - whether it’s an old story, an attachment, or lingering self-doubt.
💛 Shift your mindset from heartbreak to empowerment.
💛 Reconnect with your worth and rediscover your inner strength.
💛 Step into a new chapter of self-love, confidence, and possibility.
This isn’t just about getting over someone - it’s about coming home to yourself.
You don’t have to go through this alone. There is a path forward, and I’m here to walk it with you. Your healing starts now.
Before & After: Heartbreak to Healing
Going through heartbreak can feel like your whole world has shattered. But healing is possible, and when you come out on the other side, you’ll be stronger, wiser, and more in tune with yourself than ever before.
Before Healing (Heartbreak Phase)
Emotional Pain: Overwhelming sadness, loneliness, and grief.
Self-Doubt: Questioning your worth and replaying past mistakes.
Anxiety & Overthinking: Obsessing over what went wrong and feeling stuck in the past.
Low Energy & Motivation: Struggling to get through the day, feeling unmotivated or exhausted.
Loss of Identity: Feeling lost without the relationship, unsure of who you are now.
Rumination & Regret: Constantly wondering if you could have done something differently.
Fear of the Future: Worrying that you’ll never find love or happiness again.
Emotional Triggers: Songs, places, or memories causing intense pain.
Numbing Behaviours: Overeating, drinking, or distracting yourself to avoid feelings.
Lack of Boundaries: Wanting to reach out, seeking closure, or hoping for reconciliation.
After Healing (Transformation Phase)
Inner Peace: Acceptance of the past and excitement for the future.
Self-Worth: Knowing your value and no longer seeking validation from others.
Emotional Freedom: Letting go of the past without resentment or attachment.
Renewed Energy & Passion: Feeling motivated to create a life you love.
Stronger Identity: Rediscovering who you are and embracing your independence.
Clarity & Growth: Understanding the lessons from your heartbreak and using them to grow.
Hope & Openness: Believing in love again, but knowing you don’t need it to be whole.
Emotional Resilience: No longer triggered by past memories or your ex’s actions.
Healthy Coping Strategies: Prioritizing self-care, mindfulness, and emotional processing.
Firm Boundaries: Protecting your peace and only allowing in relationships that align with your highest self.
This transformation is exactly what my Heartbreak to Healing experience is designed to help you achieve. If you’re ready to move from heartbreak to empowerment, let’s take this journey together.
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